Letting of attachment and expectation for better results.

Many of our everyday interactions hinge on attachment to results and expectation that they should go well.

Realistically, not everyone will be excited about ideas or even hear us out. It may not even be our fault. Someone may be having a bad day or simply not present when we are speaking to them.

So how best to manage bad reactions (in our judgement anyway, which is extremely subjective) to our ideas and opinions?

Simple. Let go of attachment to the outcome and any expectation of things going well. Let others be right, ignore you if you are wrong or praise you if you are right. Observe simply what is rather than what is not.

Sounds zen, right? Well, it is. Yoga and meditation teaches us to observe, appreciate and let go of attachment and thoughts that distract us. Following this simple practice can save us lots of frustration and agitation everyday.

Yes, Practical Social Skills is Alive!

Yes, Practical Social Skills is Alive! 

I am building my Ruby on Rails consultancy, FiveAM (http://fiveamsoftware.com), while working full-time and will do my best to post here on a regular basis. 

If you need to contact me, you can always find me here: http://walteryu.com

How to *Really* Be Yourself and Connect Better with Others

Being yourself is a sure-fire way of connecting better with others. The more comfortable you are with who you are, the more you own it... the more people will feel at ease around you.

It's only natural - you feel at ease with who you are, and others feel at ease around you as well.

The image I get is of a cheetah feeling at home with his spots. He may stand out with his wild spotted pattern, but to him, he's totally at home.

A big part of being yourself is knowing yourself and accepting both our strengths and weaknesses. There are things we do well, and things that we don't do so well. But those weaknesses can be strengths too, it's a matter of perception.

For example, I'm a big nerd at heart that likes working with numbers. I'm still the kid that loves Legos deep inside and has a passion for building things (I'm an engineer by profession). And rather than hold that against myself and think I lack in people skills, I choose to share my enthusiasm for both my work and pet projects I'm usually working on.

If life gives us lemons, we make lemonade... we can do this with perception about our personality traits, for better and for improvement. Most of how others see us is about self-perception. No one can make us feel small unless we first give them permission to.

Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed

Closed mouths don't get fed, really.

At least here in the States, self-promotion and over-the-top antics can often get you in the lime-light (see Mark Cuban pic to your left).

This means speaking your mind and letting your ideas be heard rather than holding back because how others may see you. Holding back is easy to do because there is no risk for not saying anything.

The problem with not voicing your ideas is that it turns into a habit of holding back in other areas of life and living a low-risk lifestyle.

In other words, no pain, no gain.

Yes, speaking up also means owning up to what you throw out there. I use Mark Cuban as an example because he will keep his antics no matter how many fines he receives from NBA officials.

That is an extreme, but he is a good lesson taken with moderation. There is no need to become brash or abrasive, there are plenty of people in the world who behave that way already, so why be yet another?

Instead, live up to your own example and show the confidence to speak up when the timing is right.

Nifty New Site Design

It's about time Blogger evolved out of the dark ages of its dozen or so stock designs that have rarely changed for the past several years.

This will help it keep up with the likes of Wordpress and other blog-hosting sites that have continuously improving their themes and layouts.

Anyway, enough of my griping about the site aesthetics, ya'll came here for the content so enjoy the nifty new site design and regular posting as I get around to it.