Pratical Tips on eye contact

Why it's important.

Eye contact with a woman is a powerful way of

communicating with her and when used correctly, leaves a lasting impression.

Start by focusing on two parts:

1. establishing eye contact with her

2. maintaining the contact throughout the conversation.

Of course you'll want to practice eye contact on everyone, in everyday situations. More importantly, use it to focus when interacting with women.

It's intimidating, even scary at first, to look a woman straight in the eye when talking to her - but after a while, it gets interesting and eventually, sensual.

Yes, bedroom eyes. You want your eye contact to be relaxed yet intense. You burn with intensity below your gaze while allowing it to focus on her.

When you have it down, she'll feel it by opening up to you. She'll feel the intensity of your gaze and return it. The words will flow but more importantly is the vibe.

She might lean in closer to hear what you're saying, play with her hair or fidget a bit - those are the cues that you've got her attention:

#1 Relaxing your gaze.

Practice this is in conversation: make eye contact when you're talking with her, then relax and hold it. Don't glance away or fidget - stay still and hold eye contact both while you're talking (easier to do) and listening (harder to do).

Practice relaxing your gaze when holding eye contact - it should only be uncomfortable because few people hold eye contact during a conversation. If it gets tense or weird, then glance away for a second or two and work on relaxing your gaze.

Relaxing your gaze is like staring at the sunset. You look at it, even admire it, without focusing too hard on it. Now imagine the facial expression as you're doing this - it should also be calm and relaxed.

#2 Establishing eye contact first.

Catch a woman's eye by glancing over slowly and casually. I cannot emphasize this enough: snapping your head around to take a look or following her with your body language while she walks will cause her to not look at you.

Women want men who are discreet and can look without drooling. With enough practice, she'll start looking back - or not. If she does not, it really does mean she's not interested. She might be busy or not in the mood. In that case, why bother? Look for the ones that are looking... for you.

When she walks by or looks up at you (which you can feel with your peripheral vision), pause for a second, then casually glance over. Imagine looking at something out of a car window - it's a quick, fleeting glance.

But once you do catch her glance, don't look away - hold and relax your gaze.

#3 Feeling her gaze on you.

Sense with your peripheral vision, then feel with your intuition. Was her look a gaze, a stare, or a stare-down, and was it curious, cold, distant, fleeting, shy away, or intense?

We know the answers if we think about them. Most of time we don't pay attention and treat a look as just a look. But it can be much more than that - women communicate with eye contact all the time. Try saying the wrong thing in front of a group of women. Some might call you out on it and make fun of you on the spot - but most likely they'll comment to each other with eye contact.

That's because women know how to use eye contact, and they are reaching out to us in the same way. It's the only way they know how, and we need to understand it if we are to reciprocate. All we have to do is think about what her look is trying to say.

#4 Speaking with your eyes, not with your words.

Once you're comfortable holding and maintaining eye contact, think about ways to communicate with that eye contact. We communicate our state of mind with eye contact - whether we are excited, bored or drained, say after a full day at work. Be aware of the feeling you communicate with your look - women are sensitive and pick up on these subtle cues.

An effective gaze is a mixture of both intensity and calmness. It is unwavering and steady, communicating power while having a calming effect. You are demonstrating to her strength through your stillness and confidence by maintaining your gaze.

#5 Using your peripheral vision correctly.

Our peripheral vision register much of what we don't notice - all we need to do is pay attention. And noticing is exactly what peripheral vision is for. Think about driving on the road - we check our blindspot before changing lanes and occasionally glance into the rearview mirror for cars behind us. We are constantly checking in to see what is going on around while we're driving.

There's no urgency, and we're not too preoccupied doing it since we are driving, after all. Doing the same while we're walking around and chatting with people will help us become more aware of our surroundings. Who's noticing us while we're walking be, who's turning their head across the room, who can feel our presence?

No need to look over to see what happened, just acknowledge it and scan using your peripheral. "Drive your car" if you have to next time you into a cafe or restaurant.

In conclusion.

Eye contact is not confusing at all but it does take practice and patience to develop. It takes some getting used to but the best part is that you can't mess up too much with it. After all, you're speaking with your eyes, not with your mouth.