Monday, May 18, 2009

Practical tips for making women smile

The smile is the start

Getting women smiling back at you upon approaching is important. In fact, it's critical. First impressions make or break you, and it happens in a split second.

So yes it's a big deal but no, it's not hard... once you get the hang of it.

#1 Approach with the outcome in mind.

Simple. Begin with the end in mind, which is getting her to smile - duh! More specifically, imagine how she'll light up when you start interacting with her.

Stay focused on the positive outcome of having her respond positively to you, and it'll soon become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

#2 Begin by smiling yourself.

It's our natural instinct to smile back at people who smile at us. Smiling puts us in a better mood and help get us out of our heads. Smile, then take a deep breath - get some oxygen into those lungs to clear your mind!

Most importantly, smiling gets your energy up, and she can feel your positive vibe when you're "stepping to the plate" so to speak.

#3 Start small.

Say you're complete new to cold approaching - then start small and work your way up. Begin by smiling at women that pass your way. This can be at work, on the street or in the cafe. Get in the habit of making some eye contact and exchanging a smile.

Once that happens on a regular basis, then you're wired your brain to smile and get her to smile back at you. You can do this without even approaching her!

#4 Focus in and don't let go.

Our minds love to drift. We analyze, worry and daydream in our minds constantly. The chatter turns up especially when we take ourselves out of the comfort zone. We start worrying about the outcome, how we may get rejected, and all the other what if's.

So focus in and don't let go. It takes practice, and it takes patience. Think about how she'll light up, and focus on the one thing you're going to open with. Yes, one thing - not the next thing to say or the one after that but what you'll initially open the conversation with.

#5 Keep momentum

The path to game mastery lies in incremental improvement. Learn to crawl, then stand, then walk - that sort of thing. So begin by smiling at women, then doing it by giving them a compliment.

One of my favorites is complimenting them on a particular accessories. Women love this become you took the time to notice. It's sincere, and it's easy to do.

Once you're comfortable approaching, then build on that first impression and roll into conversation. Again, simple does the trick. Comment on the obvious like weather, what you're up to, where you're headed - engage her in the conversation and ask her as well. And voila - you've just struck up a conversation with a cute girl!

Action Steps:

1. Practice smiling at women passing by at work, in the street, etc.
2. Smile, take a breath, then approach with a sincere compliment.
3. Keep conversation moving by commenting on simple things and engaging her to respond.


  1. Heyy..thanks for those cool tips. I thought that at my age dating would be really dull (I wont be able to woo someone)... :( (I am 37). But with your tips, I guess I can do it... 30 plus dating WILL SURELY be a cake walk for me if I follow these tips. Thanks! You Rock!

  2. You're welcome, and I'm glad you're finding the tips useful. Age is an advantage for men because we find direction and purpose as we mature, which are very attractive traits to women.

    Stay tuned, I'll have a post about online dating here shortly.

  3. I'm easy to make smile, but yes these are good dating tips...also bonus tip... after you make her smile... tell her she has a cute smile and you're in!!!!
    Trust me that seals the deal.

    I learned some great tips from J.J. Smith's recent book I read called "Why I Love Men. The Joys of Dating."
    This book is full of tips and exersizes, the guys will love it too!

  4. Thanks for the comment! It's good getting feedback from our female readers!

  5. Keeping the momentum going is hard. Always be careful on what you say because it might suddenly end a good conversation.

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  6. I think, the tip number 2 really works for me. When someone smiles at me, I smile back at them too.
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  7. so true.....try visualising in the mind will see that acting that way in reality will be easier too

  8. I don't believe in the saying, "first impression, lasts." There are times that a man smiles but he has something else in his mind. Poker face is very common among men and women sometimes believe that it's true. However, not all men are the same so I still believe that smile is the best strategy to make the woman smile back.

  9. Another good tip is to smile like the outrageously photogenic guy. It will always work.

  10. Wow this is really great and couple of techniques here that I used for a couple of times and I must say that they were true. Maybe can help you out if your seeking for a couple.