How to make yourself a catch.

Why it's important

Most dating advice is focused on techniques, i.e. the "how to" part of the equation. It's great for starters but grows mechanical and stale with time. To have better dating lives and ultimately more intersting lives, we need to create balance and value.

Being a better catch is not about her, it's about you.

It's about being more confident and socially-attuned. These skills play into our everday lives, in the way we communicate. Women always form a first impression about us, and it's nothing to dwell on - the best to do is prepare for it while improving yourself in the process.

5 Easy Ways

1. Think about appearance, not your looks.

We dress for work, we dress for church - we even dress for the beach. Now add "dress stylishly". Basically, wear something that shows you took the time to pick out and coordinate.

Our celebrity-obsessed media creates a culture fixated on looks, women especially. Get past the hype and know what's real: making yourself presentable.

Basic principles are:

Dress neatly: nothing too small or large, clothing is well-maintained/laundered

Match basic colors: grey/black/blue or green/brown/beige - balance our loud colors with a gentler ones to balance out

Stay updated: update your wardrobe from time to time, throw out old clothes with holes/tears

Here's a laundry list of specifics:

Pants

Dress denim (7 for Mankind, Rock & Republic)

Utility pants/cargo's (dkny, fcuk, Kenneth Cole)

Tops

Designer tees (Drifter, Salvage)

Dress shirts (Ben Sherman, fcuk, Diesel)

Coats

Blazers (Armani Exchange, Kenneth Cole)

Jackets (Armani Exchange, Diesel)

Shoes

Boots (Aldo, Kenneth Cole)

Dress Shoes/Loafers (Kenneth Cole)

Finally, a word about grooming: Do it or else!

That means brushing/flossing, combing/geling hair, shaving, showering - all the basics. Do it all the time, the same as you would for work.

As for glasses vs. contacts, I wear both and find contacts are better for catching eye contact with women.

2. Exercise.

And have some fun while you're it - do something you like. Me, I do martial arts, weights and surf. If you're short on things to do, try hiking trails, biking local routes in your neighborhood or taking up classes at a local gym.

In addition to the health benefits, your energy level will be more consistent and you'll keep an active appearance.

Think about joining local clubs around sports, not only to meet people, but to stay motivated with that activity - community centers are local and inexpensive to join.

3. Write down your top 5 goals in life.

Most women will want to know what you have it together - that is, what do you want in life?

And the way to plan and achieve them is to list them out. They'll serve as a reference from time to time for seeing if you're on track. Your goals can be professional, personal or spiritual - most important part is writing them down.

Having and achieving goals will give you a stronger sense of purpose. You know what you want, and you're working to achieve them. Women care about this because it reflects your leadership ability to drive the relationship, no matter long or short that may be.

4. Develop one interest in culture.

Find one new cultural event in your area and follow it. Here are a few ideas:

• symphony/theater
  
• wine tasting
  
• art exhibits
  
• new restaurants
  
• outdoor festivals
  

The easiest way is to keep an eye out and go with friends who are already attending. All it takes is some asking around - your workplace may offer group passes for some events.

5. Go socialize once a week.

The secret to meeting women is to go meet women. Go out for a happy hour, club event, or a night on the town. Along the way you'll make friends and build your network.

While you're out, socialize with friends as well as people around you. Strike up conversations with people next to you, it's a way to meet new people.

Conclusion

"Improving you" is an inexpensive and easy process, as long as you know where to focus your efforts. Often we stop ourselves with our fears and insecurity even before we start - improving your dating life is a gradual process.