How to Make More Friends and Build Your Network

Meeting new people is an easy thing for kids to do (see photo, left) - so why does it get harder when we grow up?

I think as adults our lives get more complicated, and it's way easier to get set in our ways. We grow comfortable in our jobs and routines of the daily grind.

As a result, many of us take less risk. I know I have and realized that making more friends and building our networks is an active process.

It's like exercise, diet and anything else that we know we should do yet sometimes neglect out of discomfort or inconvenience.

It's easy to neglect because the effects aren't immediately noticeable. If we stop brushing our teeth, we start to feel the effects - bad breath, for one. But if we stop meeting new people, then what happens? It's hard to say, and we can continue on with little impact to our day-to-day lives.

We all live different lifestyles. Some of us rely on relationships to make a living - think sales or marketing, for example. Others can get by with less interaction - being an engineer myself, I'll say certain technical positions require very little socializing.

My conclusion is that we can all benefit from regular socializing. Whether it's with our neighbors, professional associations or people in the check-out line, we can all make a habit out of starting conversation and connecting with others - it's been proven to improve your health.

Most importantly, be open-minded about socializing: If the journey is the destination, then the process of making new friends should be an enjoyable process. I'm extrovert by nature and get energy from interacting with people, but others might be more introvert.

And that's okay - there are other ways to enjoy such as appreciating a new perspective that others bring or enjoying their company.

Next, be a good listener: people like being understood and listened to. It feels good when what we say and do matters. We all enjoy that sense of connect with others, especially when we feel we have something in common.

Stopping to listen to what others have to say is a huge skill - the more we practice, the more we'll do it when talking with others. Even though we may want to interrupt or think another's story is not as interesting, we often learn more than we think by not jumping to conclusions.

Finally, take a genuine interest in the conversation: this is a good one for wrapping up this post because it requires being open-minded and practicing good listening skills.

Others open up to us easily when we take a real interest in what they have to say rather than pushing an agenda or having an ulterior motive. That's one issue I see with the pickup scene is the lack of authenticity, but that's another story.