Perception Is Everything

This picture was taken during the Decompression Party that took place several weeks ago in the Portrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco.

There's never a shortage of events here: Bay-to-Breakers, Love Parade, and of course Burning Man as I mentioned in my previous post.

Every city has events year-round, so mark your calendars and get out there to socialize!

I find these events great places to be friendly with the crowd and interact with people - it's a fun activity with the right attitude.

Yes, perception is everything.

Whether we succeed or fail at something (especially dating) is determined in our mind even before we start - ever think too much before talking to a girl, and how did that affect the outcome?

At a higher level, our perception of women, dating and relationships shape what we get in return as we go about our day flirting and interacting with women.

If your mind is open and receptive to the signals women (and people) give you, then you'll more often take advantage of the opportunities that come your way.

I can't emphasize having an open mind enough - it allows you to see women truly for who they are and not be hidden behind false expectations. They feel this and open up to you in return.

Yes, I know I'm hardly being specific here, and this openness can only be felt, not described.

But intuitively, doesn't it make sense?

Having good intentions, being open-minded and not fearing failure because you never had an agenda to begin with - it all sounds the opposite of "making it happen" with women.

I've only arrived at this point having gone out to "make it happen" - yes it brings results, but it's also a lot of work and drama - women feel an agenda being pushed, and the process of building relationships becomes a challenge.

In contrast, having a positive perception and few expectations often allows you to exceed your expectations. Results come more effortlessly because we trust ourselves more and exude more confidence rather than pushing ourselves to be someone we're not.

So what can you do to practice having a positive perception in dating?

It's simple: practice openness. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Smile and wave at strangers walking by. Strike up conversations everywhere you go with people around you.

Simple things that become habit with enough practice. It's uncomfortable at first but that goes away once it becomes who you are. You simply interact with people, bring value to that interaction and make someone's day a bit better.

It's the same way with women - flirt with her, bring value to the conversation and end up having some awesome experiences with them.