tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-372464002011-12-29T21:39:18.458-08:00Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.comBlogger361100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-20461712838247362802011-08-26T19:11:00.000-07:002011-08-26T19:11:00.528-07:00

Many of our everyday interactions hinge on attachment to results and expectation that they should go well. Realistically, not everyone will be excited about ideas or even hear us out. It may not even be our fault. Someone may be having a bad day or simply not present when we are speaking to them. So how best to manage bad reactions (in our judgement anyway, which is extremely subjective) to our

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-89703695093675687242011-03-01T23:35:00.000-08:002011-03-01T23:35:25.603-08:00

Yes, Practical Social Skills is Alive!  I am building my Ruby on Rails consultancy, FiveAM (http://fiveamsoftware.com), while working full-time and will do my best to post here on a regular basis.  If you need to contact me, you can always find me here: http://walteryu.com

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-29616729924133558262010-09-12T02:56:00.000-07:002010-09-12T02:56:41.752-07:00

Being yourself is a sure-fire way of connecting better with others. The more comfortable you are with who you are, the more you own it... the more people will feel at ease around you. It's only natural - you feel at ease with who you are, and others feel at ease around you as well. The image I get is of a cheetah feeling at home with his spots. He may stand out with his wild spotted pattern,

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-81206123648186601722010-07-07T23:24:00.000-07:002010-07-07T23:24:48.435-07:00

Closed mouths don't get fed, really. At least here in the States, self-promotion and over-the-top antics can often get you in the lime-light (see Mark Cuban pic to your left). This means speaking your mind and letting your ideas be heard rather than holding back because how others may see you. Holding back is easy to do because there is no risk for not saying anything. The problem with not

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-13877479820620842372010-06-15T00:23:00.000-07:002010-06-15T00:55:34.639-07:00

It's about time Blogger evolved out of the dark ages of its dozen or so stock designs that have rarely changed for the past several years. This will help it keep up with the likes of Wordpress and other blog-hosting sites that have continuously improving their themes and layouts. Anyway, enough of my griping about the site aesthetics, ya'll came here for the content so enjoy the nifty new site

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-70969287486909926592010-05-22T21:41:00.000-07:002010-05-22T21:41:14.404-07:00

I recently turned 30, and one thing I've noticed myself doing more is looking back on my life as well as forward. That's good and bad, depending on we look at it. One thing we can learn when reflecting on the past is picking out the social patterns and reproducing what works while learning from our mistakes. Some events are neither good nor bad, they're simply a fact of life - for example, moving

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-41658361013703251392010-04-24T20:26:00.000-07:002010-04-24T20:26:46.346-07:00

It usually pays to fit in socially: it feels good to fit in, especially with our social circle. But sometimes it pays to chart your own course and do your own thing. Almost everyone who accelerated in their field from business to sports did so by taking a risk of rejection or failure... or both. We face similar decisions on a smaller scale when we decide either to follow the herd and

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-48448019890239958622010-03-25T12:01:00.000-07:002010-03-25T12:01:00.561-07:00

We've all faced the situation like the one pictured where we're working the room (or at least trying) and doing our best to break the ice mostly with strangers. For many of us, working the room and meeting new people can become a chore - it can even be uncomfortable. After all, we're taking a social risk by starting conversations with people we know nothing about.  I think part of the issue is

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-34559968411916704162010-03-18T00:01:00.000-07:002010-03-18T00:01:02.792-07:00

A good friend mine, Dave, and I have a saying: Give the carrot, be the stick. It means spread the love - tip well. be generous. give affection. donate to charity. The universe will find a way to pay you back in kind. It means giving more of yourself, going above and beyond what's expected of you in any situation - you're larger than life and there's plenty of you to go around. It means not

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-67561051415679812482010-03-03T22:55:00.000-08:002010-03-03T22:55:24.827-08:00

Do any of the following cause you anxiety? Working the room at a cocktail party... Connecting with others at networking events... Starting a conversation with someone you find attractive... I know they have for me - but nowadays they do not. It simply no longer comes to mind because I get over myself. Yep, got over myself. The issue with social situations isn't how ready we are or how not

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-90649690935091599782010-01-22T19:01:00.000-08:002010-01-22T19:01:00.662-08:00

Pushing past my comfort zone is about challenging my fears and re-defining what's possible for myself. For example, rather than avoid an uncomfortable conversation, how could I change my attitude towards it so that I can both have the conversation and have it feel comfortable instead? I find little exercises like this useful for thinking outside the box. It's easy to get set in our ways and

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-69295791402632110422010-01-15T17:26:00.000-08:002010-01-15T17:28:12.089-08:00

The disaster in Haiti this week can mean more than just a headline to us - for me, it was a lesson in empathy. Prior to the earthquake, I heard about the ongoing UN aid efforts in Haiti led by President Clinton, and I was moved by the reports of wide spread poverty, hunger and civil unrest in the area. So when the news of the disaster broke, I decided to take action by doing my research on how

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-36891367095429007642010-01-08T19:01:00.000-08:002010-01-08T19:01:00.173-08:00

I recalled an article by Tynan from a while back titled, "The Most Important Thing in the World" - it resonates with me because behind all the cool things that social skills help us do, it really revolves caring about others. On some level, whenever we network, socialize or flirt with someone, we connect with them on some level. We may give it different names but at the root is the process of

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-10350998109778374552010-01-03T21:07:00.000-08:002010-01-03T21:08:16.875-08:00

The ability to make small talk is always useful, no matter what situation we're in. Whether we're waiting in line, socializing at a cocktail party or making new acquaintances, ice breakers and small talk at the bridge to forming new relationships. The best way to begin is to treat strangers as a friend: ask them how they are, how their day is going, etc. It's easy to treat stranger as

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-37335045528772941952009-12-02T19:01:00.000-08:002009-12-05T16:07:22.045-08:00

I had a great experience at a meetup event recently, so I'll recommend it to anyone looking to meet interesting people and do interesting things. The site operates as a social network focusing on helping people find things to do. The concept is to join groups and attend their events.

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-42441551554352180472009-11-29T12:01:00.000-08:002009-12-05T16:12:50.357-08:00

Meeting new people is an easy thing for kids to do (see photo, left) - so why does it get harder when we grow up? I think as adults our lives get more complicated, and it's way easier to get set in our ways. We grow comfortable in our jobs and routines of the daily grind. As a result, many of us take less risk. I know I have and realized that making more friends and building our networks is an

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-18637567914204515802009-11-26T12:45:00.000-08:002009-11-26T12:51:31.864-08:00

I hope all of you are doing well and enjoying the autumn season - there's no snow or Macy's Day Parade, but we still carve up one mean turkey for Thanksgiving. A couple of announcements before we jump in:   1. Site name: After some thought, I find that social skills better describes what I am working on these days and wish to share with the world (and yes, you!). So look for my thoughts and

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-18483877349465864202009-11-01T12:01:00.000-08:002009-11-01T12:01:02.383-08:00

This picture was taken during the Decompression Party that took place several weeks ago in the Portrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco. There's never a shortage of events here: Bay-to-Breakers, Love Parade, and of course Burning Man as I mentioned in my previous post. Every city has events year-round, so mark your calendars and get out there to socialize!I find these events great places to be

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-76062593308280740292009-10-25T12:01:00.000-07:002009-10-25T12:01:00.303-07:00

Being in the right place at the right time can certainly help you achieve the results you want in your dating life. Many guys wonder where all the women are, and the answer is that they're everywhere.It comes down to finding the ones that make a fit for you or as women would say, "finding a guy who's my type".One way to do that is finding your niche - it's way easier than you think.First off,

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-26964829144789161582009-10-18T12:01:00.000-07:002009-10-18T12:01:00.847-07:00

There's a reason this blog discusses strategy (generic, bigger perspective stuff) and not tactics (pickup lines, field reports, etc.): tactics end up in strategy anyway.Here's what I mean - start with tactics, succeed with tactics, then focus on strategy.There's tons of material on the internet for tactics - but once you've got the basics handled, then what? Then it comes down to finding out what

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-82929114290523832492009-10-11T12:01:00.000-07:002009-10-11T12:01:00.165-07:00

Believe it or not I wasn't always getting the results in my dating life that I wanted. "Success" was far and few in between and inconsistent at best. I grew resentful at times, apathetic at others because I felt overwhelmed by something that came naturally for some yet seemed impossible for others.So for those of you working to achieve results, here's a look at my own story - I've grown old

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-38587649000374140872009-09-27T12:01:00.000-07:002009-09-27T12:01:00.738-07:00

There are more interesting things in your life than women. Seriously.It's easy to lose sight of the forest amongst the trees, but women are only a part your life. When we're over-eager to handle this area of our lives, we often over-reach, over-try and over-think - sound familiar? Sure does to me.Women can sense when they're the first and only thing on their mind - it's called your vibe.That's

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-52946627931146786062009-09-20T22:05:00.000-07:002009-09-20T23:01:32.233-07:00

Okay, here is the simple lesson for today: Don't take how women react to you personally.Wish my mother would've told me that - it would've made life so much easier!So much of what men fixate on around women is what they think, how they react and how they feel. Well, here are the short answers to those three questions:What women think of you: It comes down to you how you feel about yourself. This

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-8344512485922879022009-09-20T12:00:00.000-07:002009-09-20T12:00:00.196-07:00

Being attractive is a mindset, not a quality.It's also not something we "put on" in front of women. In fact, anything we "try" in front of women to catch their attention rarely works, and they see through it in an instant. It comes down to who we are: all the time, even when no one's looking. We all have a baseline confidence level which can be developed over time. If we focus our minds on

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-21001273356985716272009-09-11T22:14:00.000-07:002009-09-13T23:00:44.398-07:00

The biggest lesson from my BM experience this year was learning to let down my guard and connect with people for who they are.Sounds simple, but it's been a paradigm shift for me.BM creates a unique vibe, bringing together thousands of people who share a common cause and similar values. But it shouldn't take BM or any other set of circumstances to motivate us to reach out and connect with

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-66066403450455368432009-08-15T21:32:00.000-07:002009-09-13T22:56:38.599-07:00

Are you aware of what your body language, eye contact and presence say about you?They are they are the first things women notice, see and feel about you.Yet without paying close attention to what we give off, we are helpless about the first impression we give women everywhere we go. Whether it's in a bar, club or on the subway. Women got this stuff down. They communicate with eye contact, touch

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-44852087560989098682009-08-09T11:52:00.000-07:002009-09-14T02:18:33.378-07:00

Meeting and interacting with women is easy, if you know where to look and how to respond.It comes down to effort and timing - picking up on cues, then knowing what to do.Women approach by hovering. They come within your proximity to be acknowledged - not picking up on this and ignoring her is the same as rejecting her.Again: not acknowledging her and ignoring her is the same as rejecting

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-87414917265332601162009-08-08T21:43:00.000-07:002009-08-09T12:51:45.848-07:00

Confidence is attractive to women, and next is a sense of humor.Not being funny, but having a sense of humor - the two are very different.Being funny with women means they don't have to take you seriously - as in, are you attractive and dateable?Having a sense of humor on the other hand, demonstrates your social ability and confidence to take yourself lightly in social situations.A man who makes

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-86178775753908655322009-06-01T12:15:00.000-07:002009-09-14T02:18:53.610-07:00

Why it's importantMost dating advice is focused on techniques, i.e. the "how to" part of the equation. It's great for starters but grows mechanical and stale with time. To have better dating lives and ultimately more intersting lives, we need to create balance and value.Being a better catch is not about her, it's about you.It's about being more confident and socially-attuned. These skills play

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-85502373214442279252009-05-20T17:48:00.000-07:002009-09-14T02:19:19.554-07:00

Why it's important.Eye contact with a woman is a powerful way of communicating with her and when used correctly, leaves a lasting impression.Start by focusing on two parts:1. establishing eye contact with her2. maintaining the contact throughout the conversation.Of course you'll want to practice eye contact on everyone, in everyday situations. More importantly, use it to focus when interacting

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-35008865442823706702009-05-18T01:13:00.000-07:002009-09-13T22:54:11.939-07:00

The smile is the startGetting women smiling back at you upon approaching is important. In fact, it's critical. First impressions make or break you, and it happens in a split second.So yes it's a big deal but no, it's not hard... once you get the hang of it.#1 Approach with the outcome in mind.Simple. Begin with the end in mind, which is getting her to smile - duh! More specifically, imagine how

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-30290905416301273482009-01-25T13:04:00.001-08:002009-09-13T22:58:37.783-07:00

Being approachable is about projecting yourself to women to appear more available and "friendly"for them to approach you. Put another way, have you thought about:Which strangers to greet and smile at as you're walking down the street? (start doing this now if you don't already)OrWhich person to ask for directions when you're trying to get somewhere?Approachability is an assumed "like-ability"

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-5765964570843835642009-01-19T16:17:00.000-08:002009-09-14T02:15:53.068-07:00

Your focus is not on getting the girlAttracting (rather than chasing) women into your life is a chicken-and-egg concept:Do you build an interesting lifestyle because women are in it, or do you live an interesting lifestyle that attracts women toward it? It can work both ways, but the results in your life are generally better when you build the cool lifestyle you've always wanted to live while

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-43353602608617090082009-01-17T20:15:00.000-08:002009-09-14T02:19:47.876-07:00

Making female interactions fun againWhen we think about approaching and interacting with women, what thoughts cross out minds?Many times the thoughts turn to our agenda, where we stand with her and constantly calibrating for feedback.But is that really the nature of human interaction?Granted, calibration and keeping things on the seduction track are important points, but the process of getting to

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-66137214839086373812009-01-15T16:17:00.000-08:002009-09-14T02:20:27.490-07:00

A friend, David Clare, recently posted on the topic of calling/texting on How to Plan a Date.He's got some great points, and here are my additions below:1. Hone your texting on Twitter It's got the same letter-limit as a text msg (140-160). Practice thinking in short-hand and condensing your msgs. Use effective abbreviations.Here are a few condensed examples below:"Good meeting you last night,

Practical Social Skillshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06594269905201418122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37246400.post-88766683715648741832009-01-09T22:13:00.000-08:002009-09-14T02:20:51.286-07:00

(Post is based on 1/9/09 post, "How one word can influence the way you approach women".)The Power of AttiudeOur attitude and more importantly our belief in our ability can make or break our approaches.It affects everything we do before, during and after approaching a woman. From the thoughts we think, the words we speak and the way we feel afterwards - it all boils down to attitude and belief.Say

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